The Unz Review • An Alternative Media Selection$
A Collection of Interesting, Important, and Controversial Perspectives Largely Excluded from the American Mainstream Media
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Lloyd Austin
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Lloyd Austin

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Gorilla Chieftain Lloyd Austin Swears Allegiance to Israel After Arabian Soccer Field Massacre
• July 31, 2024
• 600 Words • 10 Comments • Reply
Why would Hezbollah be killing Arab civilians in Golan Heights? And if they did that, why would Israel care? Israel itself kills Arab civilians in the Golan Heights pretty regularly. Jerusalem Post: (The “Israeli” was just a Druze that had Israeli citizenship. No Jews were killed.) The international community, led by the US and France... Read More
Upon Hearing About Pentagon Leaks Weeks After the Rest of the World, Austin Declared “Bix Nood, Muthafuka”
• April 12, 2023
• 900 Words • 90 Comments • Reply
Apparently, after weeks of the internet knowing about the Pentagon leaks, the head of the Pentagon, Lloyd Austin, is just now getting word. Upon hearing of the leaks, Austin said, “bix nood, muthafucka” and began grabbing his crotch aggressively. His gun was not on safety, so the aggressive crotch grabbing caused his weapon to discharge... Read More
Lloyd Austin to Attack China If They Annex Taiwan (First Time in US History)
• October 22, 2021
• 1,900 Words • 641 Comments • Reply
Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin has addressed the “small eye yella muffagguahs” and the threat they pose to “dem bitches out der.” Speaking on China’s claims that the US is being very aggressive, Austin said, “the drama really means nothing to me.” When a NATO member asked how the United States would respond if faced... Read More
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